Malina Joshi is Miss Nepal 2011 | Nepali Blogger

Malina Joshi is Miss Nepal 2011 | Nepali Blogger:

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Gloomy Sunday

"Gloomy Sunday" is a song composed by Hungarian pianist and composer Rezső Seress in 1933, as Vége a világnak (End of the world), with alternate Szomorú vasárnap (Sad Sunday) lyrics written by László Jávor. The original lyrics depicted a war-stricken Hungary and a silent prayer to God. Jávor's lyrics are a mourning to a lost lover and a pledge to commit suicide to meet said lover again in the afterlife. It has become known as the "Hungarian Suicide Song" because many people have been found dead by means of suicide with this song playing.

In February of 1936, Budapest Police were investigating the suicide of a local shoemaker, Joseph Keller. The investigation showed that Keller had left a suicide note in which he quoted the lyrics of a recent popular song. The song was "Gloomy Sunday".

The fact that a man chose to quote the lyrics of a little-known song may not seem very strange. However, the fact that over the years, this song has been directly associated with the deaths of over 100 people is quite strange indeed.

Following the event described above, seventeen additional people took their own lives. In each case, "Gloomy Sunday" was closely connected with the circumstances surrounding the suicide.

Among those included are two people who shot themselves while listening to a gypsy band playing the tune. Several others drowned themselves in the Danube while clutching the sheet music of "Gloomy Sunday". One gentleman reportedly walked out of a nightclub and blew his brains out after having requested the band to play "The Suicide Song".

The adverse effect of "Gloomy Sunday" was becoming so great that the Budapest Police thought it best to ban the song. However, the suppression of "Gloomy Sunday" was not restricted to Budapest, nor was its seemingly evil effects. In Berlin, a young shopkeeper hung herself. Beneath her feet lay a copy of "Gloomy Sunday".

In New York, a pretty typist gassed herself leaving a request that "Gloomy Sunday" should be played at her funeral.

Many claim that broken romances are the true causes of these suicides. However, this is debatable. For instance, one man jumped to his death from a seventh story window followed by the wailing strains of "Gloomy Sunday". He was over 80 years old! In contrast to this, a 14 year old girl drowned herself while clutching a copy of "The Suicide Song".

Perhaps the strongest of all was the case of an errand boy in Rome, who, having heard a beggar humming the tune, parked his cycle, walked over to the beggar, gave him all his money, and then sought his death in the waters beneath a nearby bridge.

As the death toll climbed, the B.B.C. felt it necesssary to suppress the song, and the U.S. network quickly followed suit. A French station even brought in psychic experts to study the effects of "Gloomy Sunday" but had no effect on the ever climbing death rate.

The composer, Rezső Seress, who in 1933 wrote "Gloomy Sunday", was as bewildered as the rest of the world. Although he wrote the song on the breakup of his own romance, he never dreamed of the results which would follow. However, as fate would have it, not even Seress could escape the song's strange effects.

At first he had a difficult time getting someone to publish the song. Quite frankly, no one would have anything to do with it. As one publisher stated, "It is not that the song is sad, there is a sort of terrible compelling despair about it. I don't think it would do anyone any good to hear a song like that."

However, time passed and Seress finally got his song published. Within the week "Gloomy Sunday" became a best seller, Seress contacted his ex-lover and made plans for a reunion. The next day the girl took her life through the use of poison. By her side was a piece of paper containing two words: "Gloomy Sunday".

When questioned as to just what he had in mind when he wrote the song, Seress replied, "I stand in the midst of this deadly success as an accused man. This fatal fame hurts me. I cried all of the disappointments of my heart into this song, and it seems that others with feelings like mine have found their own hurt in it."

As the months went by and the excitement died down, the B.B.C. agreed to release "Gloomy Sunday", but only as an instrumental. This version was later made into a record. A London policemen heard this particular arrangement being repeatedly and endlessly played in a nearby apartment. He considered this to be worthy of investigation. Upon entering the apartment, he found an automatic phonograph playing and replaying the tune. Next to it was a woman, dead from an overdose of barbiturates. It was this incident which prompted the B.B.C. to reimpose its ban on the song. To this day it has not been lifted.

As a final note, "Gloomy Sunday" was introduced to the U.S. market in 1936. However, getting it recorded was no easy matter. Bob Allen and members of the Hal Kemp band were the first to record "Gloomy Sunday" in the U.S. They were noticeably affected while making the record. It took twenty-one takes to turn out a record good enough to publish. Few people who have ever listened to the melody and lyrics fail to confess that it has a horribly depressing effect.

Finally, it is not surprising to note that Rezső Seress, the composer of "Gloomy Sunday", committed suicide in 1968.

The English version lyrics of Gloomy Sunday:

Sunday is gloomy
My hours are slumberless
dearest the shadows
I live with are numberless

Little white flowers
will never awaken you,
not where the black coach
of sorrow has taken you

Angels have no thought
of ever returning you
would they be angry
if I thought of joining you?

Gloomy Sunday

Gloomy Sunday
with shadows I spend it all
my heart and I
have decided to end it all

Soon there'll be prayers
and candles are lit, I know
let them not weep
let them know, that I'm glad to go

Death is no dream
for in death I'm caressing you
with the last breath of my soul
I'll be blessing you

Gloomy Sunday

Dreaming, I was only dreaming
I wake and I find you asleep
on deep in my heart, dear

Darling, I hope
that my dream hasn't haunted you
my heart is telling you
how much I wanted you

Gloomy Sunday

Nothing Lasts Forever

For last so many years I had been thinking that FRIENDSHIP is the most precious thing I have in my life. I don't say I was wrong but this truth took less than a second to convert itself to wrong. I never expected any return in friendship, nor I expect now on-wards. I always had a pleasant time whenever I used to be with my friends. I laughed, smiled, cut jokes, used pranks, drove, drunk, danced and dealt with so many things together. But now it all faded away in a glance. I don't blame everyone for this but there is always a person who changes your whole perception about anything.


I don't know how to react at this stage. I am totally out of my mind; a blackness has surrounded me, because I never imagined of this kind of act from a friend whom I always thought to be together with. Its simply a mistake of mine; trusting in friendship. I am really ashamed of myself to thought friendship as the strongest bond. Thanks for making my perception wrong dude. 


It could had been a nightmare but I am alive. I should say I have woken up after a long nightmare on this day. I will remember this date. I had a world created by myself, but Alas! I am destroying it today. I was wrong to dream of it with the people I admired and loved. Thank you for breaking a wonderful dream or say a worst nightmare. I just want to let you know that I too have the anger limits. But I may not have reacted the way you did. "May" is not suitable; I should rather say I "will" never react the way you reacted. 


Fuck this hypocrites friendship!!! Fuck this bullshit!!! Fuck Friendship... I am really hating this bullshit this night! I have known the differences. There are some fucking people who put a tag of friend but in reality they never feel it by heart!!!

Trying to read men

Why do men do strange things? This line of thought amazes women? Women have always been puzzled by a man's constant fascination for strange things. For some, it's care and relationship, for other's, it's  childish video games and for yet others, it's television and movies. But, few women have asked why men are so determined to hang onto their toys. The answer is rather simple. Men, as a race, are an imaginative bunch. They require reality to be diluted from time to time. Reality is a scary place for most men: they don't understand much of what's happening and have even less insight. As such they need another reality, an alternative, a place where they can be better men. This need for an alternative reality has been evident since the days of the cavemen. Those drawings on cave walls were exaggerated to some extent to suit the ego of the big bad hunter. For example, a hunter may have killed a bunny and drawn a brontosaurus.

Video games provide an even more realistic environment for a man to get lost in, imagine being a CIA agent, a racing car driver or James Bond, all in the same day; it has ridiculous appeal for men, I assure you. It's strange sort of thing, but this allows men to be more pleased with their day-to-day existence; it's the idea that, if I want to, I could do anything. The truth being that, most men would rather sit in a lounge chair and take a nap at five o'clock in the evening.

The human race, especially men, desire what it cannot have. With video games and television, men get fulfillment, an idea that their hopes and wishes are coming true, an idea that the dreams aren't too far.

As soon as a man sees an action movie, he goes into his room, closes the door aims a little finger gun at the mirror and says 'Hasta La Vista, baby.' It's just our way. Sly Stallone may just sit around all the day and be a normal guy but, even for him, acting is an escape and I bet, from time to time, he still plays the Rocky tune in his head and raises hose gigantic arms in the air.

The world of imagination has gone to another level. Anything that can be imagined can be brought in front of one's eyes and this takes men to fantasyland, where all is real. When men achieve all that they desire with the power of a couple of simple gadgets, what else in the world do they need???

Re-union of Batch '059 - Gyan Jyoti S. School

A high school reunion

well mine was a rush

only fourteen arrived from

hundred fifty and plus

eight years have passed

since that milestone day

plans for the reunion was made

in most elegant ways!

we picked each from facebook

all we knew the best

even to those who didn't come

about hundred thirty six and rest

why didnt some frens turn up!

what made them so crass

to inflict such an insult

on the unity of our class

well here's my perspective

for this experience forgone

I'll sum it up in 3 words

" LIFE GOES ON"

कथा निर्जिव प्राणीको

मेरो  नाम डेस्क हो । हुन त एक्कैसौं शताब्दिमा मेरो कुनै मुल्य छैन तर आज भन्दा करोडौं बर्ष उता हाम्रो पनि एउटा घर हुने गर्थ्यो; “पृथ्वी”, जब आजका भयानक दुईखुट्टे प्राणिको कुनै अस्तित्व थिएन । पुर्वजका कुरा एक कान दुइ कान मैदान हुँदै आएको evidence अनुसार हामिहरु नै यस पृथ्वी मा राज गर्ने गर्थ्यौं अरे । हामी सबै खुशीपूर्ण जिवन ब्यतित गर्ने गर्थ्यौं । हाम्रो परिवारले; ऐलेका मानवहरुले आफ्नो सुरक्षाका निम्ती राखेका घरपालुवा जनावर जस्तै हाम्रा पनि घरपालुवा जनावर हुनेगर्थ्यो जस्तै: बाघ्, भालु आदी इत्यादि, र खुशीपुर्वक बस्ने गर्थ्यौं ।

एकदिनको कुरा हो; भयानक तरिकाले बिजुली कद्किदैंथियो, पानी पनि मुसल्धारे पर्दैथियो । हामी सबै बच्चाहरु डरले कामिरहेकाथियौं । आमा-बाबाले हामिलाई शान्त राख्न खोज्नु भैरहेकोथियो । केही दृश्य देखिने अवस्थामा थिएन र तेतिकैमा परतिर हाम्रै घाँसमा एउटा कोश (cell) गुणा भैरहेको कुरा हाम्रा घाँसहरु मार्फत हामिले थाहा पाएकाथियौं र ति कोषहरु गुना हुँदै एउटा प्रकार दिदैथियो जुन हामिले पनि देख्न सक्थ्यौ र ति प्रकारहरु  एउटा अचम्म खाले प्राणिमा परिणत भएको थियो । पशु हो कि पंशी हो थाहा थिएन । नियालेर हेर्दा त्यो दुइ खुट्टामा उभिन सक्ने रहेछ । बादलको गड्गडाहटका कारण त्यो प्राणी हाम्रो संसारमा आएको होला भन्ने अनुमान गर्यौं । तसर्थ हामिले उसको नाम ADAM राख्यौं । यसै अन्तर्गत हामिले थाहा पायौंकी पृथ्वीको अर्को कुनामा पनि एस्तै घटना घटेकोरहेछ । साँझमा फेला परेको कारण उसको नाम EVE राख्यो । हामिले त्यो प्राणिलाई स्नेहपुर्वक सम्हालेका थियौं । छलफल हुँदै जाँदा हामिले एउटा निधो गर्यौं कि दुइ खुट्टामा उभिने र बाहिरी आकारमा पनि उस्तै जिउडाल भएको कारणले हामिले तीनिहरुलाई भेट गरार्यौं । तेसपछी हामिले थाहा पाए अनुसार उनिहरुको आत्मियता बध्दैगयो । दुइको बिचमा प्रेमको सम्बन्ध प्रगाढ रुपले बध्दै गयो ।  त्यो प्रेमले उनिहरु जस्तै धेरै प्राणिलाई जन्म दियो । उनिहरुको जन्संख्या बध्दै गयो । जन्संख्यासँगै  उनिहरुको आवस्यकता पनि बध्दै गयो । हामी भन्दा निकै बुद्धिमानी भएका कारण उनिहरुले “आगो”को निर्मान गरे । आफु बस्ने परिधी बढाउँदै गए । आफ्नो शक्तिको नाजायज फाइदा उठाउँने क्रममा हामिलाई नै आफ्नो परिवारबाट हताए । हामिले सुरक्षाका निम्ती पालेका घरपालुवा जनावरलाई आफ्नो स्वाद र वस्त्रका निम्ती संहार गर्दै गए । जती माया हामिले दिएका थियौं त्यस्को ठीक बिपरितमा उनिहरुले हामिलाई घृणा दियो ।  आफ्नो स्वतन्त्र देश निर्माणका लागी हाम्रा बुढा-पाखा रुखलाई काट्न थाले । बिस्तारै हामिलाई आफ्नो परिवारबाट टाढा गरिदिए । एकतर्फबाट भन्नु पर्दा हामिलाई निर्जिव प्राणी जस्तो व्यवहार गर्न थाले । उनिहरुको भोक अझै नमेटिदा हामिलाई पूर्णरुपले फदानी गरे । आफ्नो सहुलियतका लागी हामिलाई आफ्नो आरामदायी वस्तुमा परिणत गरे । कसैलाई खाट त कसैलाई कुर्सि, कसैलाई सोफा त कसैलाई पुस्तकमा बदले । तेसै अन्तर्गत आज हाम्रो जन्संख्या एक्दमै न्युन भएकोछ । कुनै दिन यस्तो आउला कि आफ्नो जनसंख्या बढाउने क्रम र आरामदायी बनाउनलाई हामिलाई नै लोप गर्लान् ।

हिजोको राजकिय भार चलौने मेरा पुस्ता, आज म, डेस्क, जस्तो निर्जिव प्राणि भएर बाँचिरहेकाछन् । हामिसँग यो पृथ्वी  हाम्रो हो भन्ने कुनै कागजिय प्रमाण छैन किनकी हामी आफ्नो अस्तित्वको प्रमाण दिन आफुलाई काट्न सक्दैनौ।   

प्रश्न !!!

सन् २००९ अक्टोबर २३ का दिन काठमाडौं विश्वाबिद्यालयबाट स्नातक तहको एलेक्ट्रिकल एन्ड एलेक्ट्रोनिक सन्कायमा दिक्षित भइयो। दिक्षान्त सम्हारोहको 'टपर लिस्ट'मा नाम आउँदा दङ परेको अझै याद छ मलाई। आफुले देख्नसाथ बाबु-आमालाई देखाएको थिए। हुन त म आफुमा 'टपर' को केही गुन छैन जस्तो लाग्छ तैपनी आफुले केही राम्रो गर्‍यो भने अथवा केही राम्रो पायो भने, भगवानलाई सम्झिन्छन। मैले पनि त्यही गरे। मेरो बाबु-आमा नै मेरालागी भगवान हुन। त्यस्पछी एक बर्ष काठमाडौं विश्वाबिद्यालयमै पढाए। मैले कोर्समा भएको मात्र हैन, मेरा विद्यार्थीलाई ब्यहावार पनि सिकाए। आफुलाई आउने, आफुले सक्ने सबै दिए। अब उनिहरुले कत्तिको लिए, उनिहरु नै जानुन। त्यस्पछी उच्च शिक्षा हासिल गर्न बिदेश तिर होमिए। आल्तो युनिभर्सिटी (हेल्सिन्की युनिभर्सिटी अफ टेक्नोलोगी)मा एउटा सेमेस्टर पनि सकियो।

दोश्रो सेमेस्टरको पहिलो क्लास, म पुग्दा प्रोफेसर क्लासमा पुगिसकेका थिए। एलेक्ट्रिसिटी डिस्ट्रिबुसन एन्ड मार्केट्स भन्ने कोर्सका ठुलै प्रोफेसर थिए। एक्छिन पछी उन्ले सबैसँग परिचय गर्न थाले। ईन्डिया, पाकिस्तान, इटली, तुर्की, जर्मनी, ब्राजिल, लिथुअनिया इत्यदी देशका विद्यार्थीहरु पनि थिए। मेरो पालो आयो। मैले आफ्नो पुरा नाम भनेपछी म नेपाल बाट हो भने। बिदेश्मा कसैलाई आफ्नो देशको नाम भन्दा, उस्लाई कत्तिको थाहा रइछ आफ्नो देशको बारेमा भन्ने हुदो रहेछ। "कतै उस्ले नाम नै सुनेको छैन कि?, सगरमाथाको देश भनेर सुनेकै होला नि!, कि गौतम बुद्धको बारेमा थाहा होला?, न विश्वको गरीब देश भनेर मात्र पो चिन्छ कि?, कतै पहिले शान्तिक्षेत्र र द्वन्दकाल पछीको हिन्सा-क्षेत्र भनेर चिन्दो हो? यस्ता अनेकौ प्रश्न मनमा आउनेगर्छ। त्यैभएर कसैलाई आफ्नो देशको नाम भन्दा उस्को अनुहारको अभिब्यक्ती बिचार गर्न मनलाग्छ। उस्ले आफ्नो देश्लाई कसरी चिन्या रइछ भन्ने कुरा त्यसइबाट अनुमान लगाउन सकिन्छ। प्रोफेसरलाई म नेपालबाट हो भनेपछी उन्ले अनुहारबाट खासै केही प्रतिकृया दिएनन, शायद उन्ले नाम बहेक अरु केही सुन्या छ्न जस्तो लागेन। त्यस्पछी उन्ले पढाउन थाले। एक्छिन पछी उन्ले मतिर फर्केर नेपालमा बिध्युत बिकास कस्तो छ भनेर सोधे। म स्तब्द भए। कस्तो बिकास छ भनेर भन्नु। कि बिकास नै छैन भनुम। कती जनताहरु बिध्युतको पहुचमा छन भनेर फेरी अर्को प्रश्न सोधिहाले उन्ले। उन्को मुखबाट दोश्रो प्रश्न खस्न नपाउदै म बोले। "मेरो देशको बारेमा भन्नुपर्दा, हामी एक्दम नराम्रो स्थितीमा छौ। आजको मितीमा हामी दिनको १४ घण्टा बिध्युतबाट बन्चित हुन्छौ।"

मेरो कुरा सुनेर उनी छक्क परे। 

"साच्चै?"

"हामी मुलरूपमा जल्बिध्युतमा भर पर्छौ।" मैले प्रस्ट्याउन खोजे। "हाम्रा जल-बिध्युत प्रोजेक्टहरु प्राय सबै 'रन अफ रिभर टाईप' छन, हामीसँग 'स्टोरेज प्ल्यान्ट' हरु न्युन छन। र यही कारनले बर्षाको बेला हामीसँग पर्याप्त बिजुली हुन्छ र हिउदमा कारीब १८ घण्टा सम्म लोड-शेडिङ हुन्छ।" 

यती भनुन्जेल मनमा गाठो पेरिसकेको थियो। मैले झुटो बोलेर स्थिती राम्रै छ भनेको भये नि हुन्थ्यो जस्तो लाग्यो। तर सत्य त्यही थियो, मलाई लुकाउन मन लागेन। आलु खाएर पेडाको धाक के लगाउनु। फेरी यो सन्धर्बमा हामीले आलु त के आलुको बोक्रा पनि खान पाएका छैनौ। उन्ले बरु मलाई नेपालको प्राकृतिक सौन्दर्यताको बारेमा सोध्या भए पेडा मात्र हैन हामी सबै रसबरी नै खाँदै छौ भन्न हुन्थ्यो। 

साच्चै हामीले एक शताब्दीमा के नै प्रगती गर्यौ र? बिध्युत बिकास सुरु भएको एक शताब्दी पुगेको कार्यक्रम मनाइरख्दा पनि कतीपय ठाउँमा लोड-शेडिङ थियो। के हामीले प्रगती गर्नै नसक्ने हो त? हामीमा क्षमता नै नभाको हो? लोड्-शेडिङ सुरु भएको यतिका बर्ष भएर स्थिती यती भयावह हुँदा पनि खै त सरोकारवालहरुको ध्यान गएको? म स्नातक पहिलो बर्षमा हुँदा नै EIA Study(Environmental Impact Assessment/ बातावरणइय प्रभाव मुल्याङ्कन) भैसकेको माथिल्लो तामकोशी जलबिध्युत पारीयोजनाको मात्रै काम सुचारु रुपले भएको भए आज हामी लोड्-शेडिङ मुक्त हुन्थ्यौ होला र मेरो मन यस्तो खिन्न हुन पाउथेन होला।   

प्रोफेसरले त्यही प्रश्न अरु राष्ट्रका मित्रहरुलाई सोध्न थाले। उनिहरुको जवाफ तिर मेरो ध्यान नै गएन। मनमा त्यस्तै खिन्न बनाउने प्रश्नहरु रुमल्लिन थालयो। छेउमा गणेश दाई हुनुहुन्थ्यो। शायद उहालाई पनि त्यस्तै भाईराख्या हुनुपर्छ जस्तो लाग्यो। शायद प्रोफेसरले मलाई त्यो प्रश्न नसोधेर गणेश दाईलाई सोध्या भए अली राम्रो उत्तर दिनुहुन्थ्यो कि। तर गणेश दाईले पनि जे छ त्यही त भन्नुहुन्थ्यो होला नि, मैले पनि जे छ त्यही भन्या हो। मनमा यस्तै प्रश्न खेलौदैथिए, एक्कासी प्रोफेसरले मलाई सोधेको दोश्रो प्रश्न याद आयो। कती जनताहरु बिध्युतको पहुचमा छन? यही थियो उन्को दोश्रो प्रश्न। यदी जनतामा पहुचको हिसाबमा हेर्ने हो भने त हामी धेरै पछाडि छैनौ। मैले तुरुन्त हात उठाये। प्रोफेसरले मलाई हेरे। 

"हाम्रो देशको भौगोलिक स्थितिलाई मध्यनजर गर्दै ठुलो जल-बिध्युत पारीयोजनहरु अत्यधिक महँगो पर्ने भएकोले हामीले साना तथा नबिकरनिय उर्जा (Renewable Energy Source) को बिकासमा धेरै ध्यान दिएका छौ। त्यहिभएर, बिध्युतबाट बन्चित हुने जनता प्राय शहरी भाग र राष्ट्रिय ग्रिड पुगेको ठाउँ मात्र हो। नभए त ग्रामीण भेग र बिकट ठाउँहरुमा लघु जल-बिध्युत योजना (small and micro-hydro) र मिनिग्रिडको बिकासले गर्दा बिद्युत पहुच भएका जनताको प्रतिशत राम्रै छ।"

यती भनिसकेपछी मैले बल्ल लामो सास फेर्न सके। मन अली हलुको भयो। मनमा अघी सर्प सल्बलाएजस्तो सल्बालाइरहेका प्रश्नहरु पनि हराए। शायद मैले पछी भनेका कुराहरु ती प्रश्नहरुको लागि कुनै जादुगरको लठ्ठीजस्तो भयो। प्रश्नहरु आँखा चिम्लिनसाथ हराए सरि हराए। 

"हामी जुन कुरामा बल्ल बिकास गर्दैछौ, तिमीहरु त्यस्मा अनुभवी राइछौ।", प्रोफेसरले थपे। उनको अन्तिम वाक्यले मन झन आनन्दित भयो। त्यस्पछी क्लासको बाँकी समय राम्ररी पढियो। 

क्लास सकिएपछी घर फर्किए। ल्यापटप अन गरेर नागरिकन्युजको वेबसाईट खोले समाचार पढ्न। 'माओवादी अबरोधका माथिल्लो तमकोशिको सिल्यानाश कार्यक्रम स्थगित।' हेडलाईन यस्तो थियो। मलाई अबरोधको कारण पढ्न मनलागेन। त्यस्पछी ल्यापटपमा गीत बजाएर सुते। 

गीत बजिरह्यो। 

".....अल इन् अल इट्स जस्ट अनदर ब्रिक इन् द वाल.."

Written By :

Er. Bishal Silwal